Updated: Mar 14
(Balanced) Family System: Father is most important to Mother & Mother is most important to Father (primary level) & child/children and other family members (secondary level) should know this.
As children, for natural mental/spiritual/physical developmental growth, one should be free to be a child!
Engulfed by mother/father to fill in as their surrogate spouse, the inner-child gets resentful, angry for its unmet needs… and goes into hiding. The covert rule is: ‘if I’m unhappy, you can’t be happy’.
The clueless child feels guilty & anxious for needing his/her needs!
Soul-splitting baggage to keep the parent happy instead of another way round destroys a carefree childhood.
The child abandons itself to be a good ‘son’/‘daughter’ so that he/she gets approval & love, his basic need, from the source figures.
In many cases, children play a scapegoat in the conflicting couple triangle to keep the family system alive. Here the physiological & spiritual needs of so called ‘family’ remains unsupported and unresolved.
This neglect results in being out of touch with our own needs & emotions.
The primary imbalance leads to incompleteness, emptiness, and low-grade depression.
In family cross-generational enmeshments, children take on their parents’ insecure issues losing sight of their individuality as a whole.
I don’t know who I am!
I’ve no idea what MY needs & wishes are?
Who am I?