Updated: Jan 6
“Codependency is a relationship imbalance where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.
A codependent relationship is a kind of dysfunctional relationship where one person is a caretaker and the other person takes advantage.”
Codependency (defined here as the inability to express rights, needs and boundaries in a relationship; it is a disorder of assertiveness that causes the individual to attract and accept exploitation, abuse and/or neglect) is usually sowed in formative years due to unmet needs as a child.
The dysfunctional relationship we had with our parents/primary caregivers who did not/could not fulfil the role of a guardian leads to this kind of imbalance.
Having over-protective or under-protective parents leads to the same.
These kinds of parent-child relationships are often enmeshed as well.
Growing up in a home where our emotions as a child are ignored/punished gives us low self-esteem and shame. Becoming more adult we begin to believe that our needs are not worth attending to.
Co-dependency (mostly paired with loneliness) comes out from not being shown as a child how to love our selves unconditionally.
Consequently, frenzied fear and alienating anxiety overtake our psyche, as that fundamental need is unfulfilled.
Not knowing how to love ourselves, we project this foundational unmet need onto others as subconsciously we tend to seek his/her love and validation in return.
The first & foremost step - begin to love our inner-child NOW…discipline ourselves to perform one small act of self-love daily.
Most potent balm for our inner-child wound- unconditional self-love 🤗