Updated: Feb 20
Homeostasis —The balanced internal environment of the body and the automatic tendency of the body to maintain this internal "steady state". Also refers to the tendency of a family system to maintain internal stability and to resist change.
Emotional relationships in families are usually triangular. Whenever two members in the family system have problems with each other, they will "triangle in" a third member as a way of stabilizing their relationship. The triangles in a family system usually interlock in a way that maintains family homeostasis."
While growing up in a dysfunctional family, the naive inner-child takes up a ‘role - (Scapegoat/caretaker/hero/mascot/addict/lost child) ’ to carry on in the chaotic environment.
In the process of survival, it abandons and rejects its authentic self.
John Bradshaw says in order to secure parental love & avoid being abandoned, the ‘inner-child‘ is being abandoned. Since the child is there to mirror & echo the ‘parent’, there’s no one to nurture the child’s needs.
The innocent child needs a parent NOT a spouse. Emotionally inept & incapable parents expect children to fulfil their basic need for love, companionship & comfort.
The emotional/mental/spiritual loss of self continues in adulthood and leads to depression, anxiety, and addictive/compulsive behaviour issues.
Which role did you play to maintain the family’s Homeostasis & balance at the cost of losing yourself?