...scapegoat spot 🐐

Scapegoat (noun)

-a goat upon whose head are symbolically placed the sins of the people after which he is sent into the wilderness in the biblical ceremony for Yom Kippur

-one that bears the blame for others

-one that is the object of irrational hostility

In a family unit, a scapegoat is a person who carries the burden of the family wrongdoings/faults/unresolved. The damage is even more brutal in a family unit, as it is the first place where we learn to love and trust others.

Scapegoating always includes verbal abuse, including sweeping assumption about a child’s character or personality. In the absence of positive messages about who they are, the vulnerable child falsely assumes what is said to them as their essential truth.

On being mentally/physically abused, the child expresses hurt feelings and is labelled ‘super sensitive’. The unjustly treated child is named irresponsible/selfish/problem-child or lazy. These messages invalidate their sense of self. In childhood, as compared to positive incidents, painful incidents set a permanent pattern on the developing brain.

Placing a single member as a family outcast, the blood bonds - who were meant to love & support you, damage self-worth/esteem almost permanently. This feeling of rejection & NOT belonging gets replayed in future adult relationships.

The embodied implications of being flawed, lacking, unlovable, or ‘not good enough’ may hinder other adult relationships and professional achievements, as self-criticism and self-hatred self-judgement manifest on and on.

Being drawn to the familiar environment as ‘home’, it’s almost sure to attract partners/spouses who are high in narcissistic or controlling traits.

Breaking the pattern is possible only through lovingly reparenting oneself and self-compassionate mindfulness.

Lets’ awaken our inner-child with unconditional self-love. 😍 🤗


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